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ecelliam

welcome to my abstract mind

Saturday, May 1, 2010

a score of zero

love is not just a condition, not a feeling.........of.. odd being alive, of being there in the light......love is not just you beaming tormented with the torrents of a line of exquisiteness of what you have been through, or that you may in time be brought back to .... what you were, Love is not your every day occurrence that happens to .. just the ordinary , the small of mind ,...........love is there to destroy... to build... to honer... to bring .... to concur to engulf to .. out do .. to paint to erase to shoe.........to bring you back to what you may have to do ... to understand what is sphere in the first place........ look. In the pain, the hurt, the immensity of the whole being......... how....tell me HOW can you, can I. believe that LOVE is blind, love is .. what ever hits the enormous extremity of you . all of you. at once.. to blind you fore....that moment , that moment could be forever... to find you in what ever you may..have encounter in the feelings of that moment. .. that forever moment.............. it could for the time of would me, and you be in the most outrageous ... OUTRAGEOUS .. way be into you and into me at the same time ..... without you ever being in there at all. go......Love is a moment....love is a life time.....GO and find the one that hit you with that time in your life...see if you can really remember the time and how it felt at the time........ allow the healing.....allow the interlude of what has happened........sit.... sit down..and be the one that brings out the ones to you , and be accommodating to the ones that need.....that have to be reminded of what it was......of what it can, will............ don't just allow them to be...may still be .. infested with that feeling.. that fragment .. that draws you so close to .. and makes you forget the the rose......... the rose is that view in your mind of the beauty that you can't forget...it was so good...so fine......so good to feel in the heart...in the existence of that moment in time we had.........shared....inbraced together. on time long ago..............very long ago.....no more time to go........................and go.

egregious thought

today's feeling are an eraser of yesterday. .. Yesterday should not have happened, it should have been deleted from my time. no way out for me....had to have it confront. When you love some one for reason that are beautiful... like the one..as I can see how your are. bring on the way they are.....beautiful..wonderful disposition...displays of genuine..emotion...a range of pleasure to the .. senses...to the existence of the one in mind....my emotions are injured...are..hurting because of what you have to bring into my mind. because of the persistence........that you can bring... that you reword the one in the front of you... resistance.....of what you are saying...the .. speech...YOUR speech .. that you are doing now.. help me understand..correct what it is that I do not know... what IS it that I'm missing .. in what you are saying.. the er-ea in your sources..SAY......... in the way you may be presenting.......this !......I want to be able to bring back yesterday........ you may want to hear... to listen... and to be your own .... Your own author of what you want to say... of what you believe... absorb..unite your thinking before you make a display of your thoughts to others...the ones that have a different point of view then what it is that you do.......... the one that have different...philosophy of Ideas as foreign to you may have to be true..// asking to forgive....I could...when i can settle a score in my beliefs...when I can be really indifferent..intolerant to my own energetic.. and abundance..... of my thought... of what i really know to be the truth.......The Truth in my mind... you ... following others that are not to be .. genuine...the games they play is an effort... the display of distortions... are a display .. of torture in my mind.....I see you in the grip of the ones..the others.. that are really out of their intentions... for the ones that..have become as you are... I want to understand..... help me....HELP ME...to believe the way you are......other then what I see in the inferiority of you intentions to the ones..... loyal in your mind......

Sunday, April 25, 2010

uncertainty

the mood is here..is there.......came into me like a Field of unwanted heat......unwanted air.......... dubiety...stresses..what I find myself in today loneliness in the flash..........Ianthe way I lay myself to rest .......today..long is the dream..the dreams of what it may.. beautiful..day..so much to do....here i lay in a state of disarray..... Skepticisim...suspicion...evidence of the mistrust.. of the frugality .. that we have today..... suspicion. stresses the lack of faith.......the reality of what is causes that is the way. I lay on my back...with the mind of .. wonderment for I feel the darkness coming my way..I try not to service the need I have to be..angry...be destructive in the way I know how to be with me... In the flash. in the veins I can see the colour coming to the surface of the injuries....and well mental injuries...feelings .. that we all some how enjoy..must .. enjoy the emotional hurt... how good it feels to hurt as is that way... An out let that has been provided by the complexity of nature...the wonder.... of a design...for us not to be able to even comprehand...ever..should I dare say Forever ?...........the indulgence of a life time here ...now..........maybe never.... there has to be a way to.....have.....to dislodge the impotance....the..movement of those that see it that way.... lets find a way....together.. a sovereign .. meaningful .. part of the day. do when we may extend it do others .. lets isolate a dimension..lets eclair..points of our feeling ..like frosted sweetness..so that we can change the mood .. to reach those who we are.Then...THEN we can do the things that need to be done.....today....